Tuesday, 3 March 2015

crash Jumping out of nowhere the little white head was soring though the sky as it landed it's sharp pointy claws was damaging the dog face.In the corner of my eye I could see the cats sharp sparkling teeth.


In the background the blinds were swaying side to side, as the cat keep making her moves.

6 comments:

  1. good adjectives lili but I think you could use extended vocab more

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  2. Hi Lili I like it maby you could work on putting a s on the end of words when your saying something after it like you said the cat came flying out of the sky and damage the dog face

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  3. Love the story Lili I liked how you had some nice adjectives and some nice spelling but maybe next time you could put some more punctuation like caption letter's at the front of your sentence

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  4. fb Lili your story was very good and lot of good and words.ff next time i think you can add a little more fullstops and vocabulary

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  5. Hi Lili i really liked your story the thing i liked about your story was that you use adjectives and i think next time you could put in some extended vocabulary.

    From dannielle

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  6. Hi Lili i really liked your story the thing i liked about your story was that you use adjectives and i think next time you could put in some extended vocabulary.

    From dannielle

    ReplyDelete

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